_Insider./Intel_ /The_Future.Proof/_Newsletter/

/Glitch.Noir_Chronicles//

/Insider./Intel/_

Vol. 02: The Anti-Brand Era Begins

You’re not reading a newsletter.
You’re reading the war report.

Welcome to Glitch.Noir_Studios. A non-agency, non-network, anti-brand for the Post-Everything era. We don’t sell polish. We hunt signal.

And we’re tracking the shifts

you’re too busy posting to notice.

Each drop aims to predict

Not just trends, but the future.

You’ll get:

• Cultural diagnostics

• Format shifts

• Sales resistance markers

• Anti-agency frameworks

• Toolkits (with instructions)

__________________________________________________________________________________________

No thoughtfluencer fluff.

No automation-as-brand.

Just deep intelligence, stripped down

&

weaponized for freelancers, founders,

&

 freedom seekers

who get stuck in the middle.

-3-

-om-

____________________________________________

We’re Recruiting for our
/_Glitched_Army./
Take Over is Immiment
Pay attention - it pays dividends..

5thColumn_Solutions: Content & Production Arm..

./Glitch/.Noir_Studios/_

/Future.Proof_Yourself./

Stop Posting. Start Positioning.

./Create_Positions./Stop./Imitating_

Most people show up online for visibility.
But visibility without trust? Just paid-for clutter in the feed.

Big business tries to act "unhinged" like every post didn’t go through hundreds of focus tests and get pre-approved by their CMO.
Much like the unfunny TV commercials of the olden days, I’m tuning you out.

After helping hundreds of brands tighten their online presence, I’ve seen the same loop repeat:

• They build networks full of bots and self-important reply guys.

• They chase likes and impressions with no real engagement.

• They post with the same corporate hype-tone aimed at no one.

Then they wonder why nothing’s growing.
Why there’s no real community around "Walmart World."
It’s not tone. It’s optics. Just because you build in Roblox doesn’t mean they’ll show up.

Why are they so excited? The last post had 2 likes. Both were bots or employees.
No clout. No momentum. No revenue. But still posting with stacked !!! & throwback emojis like it’s 2015 and you just said the funniest thing ever.

Yes, most brands want visibility.
But they don’t know what to say or who they’re saying it to.
So they copy people who are winning without understanding why it works.

This disconnect kills trust. The algorithm picks up on it. So does your audience.

In 2025, getting labeled a corporate sellout is damning.
People vote with their dollars and love sticking it to the suits.
The next-gen buyer has a grudge..

and rightfully so…

In the era of personal brands, knowing how to read the room is invaluable.
Anyone can post. Not everyone can build an army of volunteer spokespeople.

The trick isn’t standing out. It’s signaling that you belong.
That you get it.

That’s what positioning is:

• Trust

• Clarity

• Relevance

• Consistency

Not hype. Not hustle. Not fake relatability.

If you’re trying to build a brand online, especially as a founder or solo operator — your presence is the product.
Let people opt into your worldview. That’s the point.

This is the tightrope of post-irony brand building.

Let’s break it down.

What Good Positioning Actually Looks Like

The brands winning online? They treat the feed less like a billboard and more like a friend’s yearbook the day before summer break.

They:

• Share behind-the-scenes moments instead of high-gloss promos

• Show up consistently in voice and values

• Post with clarity, not desperation

• Signal alignment, not just noise

• Give Value to Anyone Looking For Help, not just their fans

They don’t waste hours trying to craft the perfect motivational quote.

They’re too busy building.

Positioning Audit:

Look at your last 5 posts:

• Attract the right people?

• Reflect what you actually offer?

• Create real momentum?

• Show your wins or your struggles honestly?

If not, that’s not a content problem.

That’s a strategy gap.

Thought Leadership Isn’t About Being Loud…

..It’s about being useful and real.

What builds trust:

• Content rooted in lived experience or tested process (earned attitude)

• Clear, specific solutions for real problems (not just trying to sell a course they stole from scribd)

• A tone that balances authority with humanity (empathy & confidence are how you inspire)

• Consistency in personality, tone, and values (Authenticity & Intent)

The people who convert?

Their reputation is a byproduct of the system they follow not the noise they create.

Examples That Convert:

• Frames tech through behavior change

• Uses story to make ideas land

• Shares repeatable frameworks

• Alternates formats to stay fresh
  → Insight: Quiet clarity travels further than loud opinions.

• Leads with story and legacy

• Shares what she’s lived, not just what she learned

• Elevates peers, builds community
  → Insight: Generosity builds brand gravity.

• Publicly engages with others’ content, not just replies but participation

  
  → Insight:

  Trust is built in the comments, not just the posts.

Sidebar:

Your Feed Isn’t Broken. Your Positioning Is.

Part 2: Manufactured Clout & the Myth of Organic Growth

If Everyone’s Boosting, Is It Still Cheating?
Everyone wants virality.

Nobody wants to admit how often they engineer it.

🧩 What’s an SMM Panel?

An SMM panel is a control system, a dashboard where you can pay to pump your analytics.

Likes, views, retweets, comments: all for sale.

Used by:

• Indie creators simulating traction

• Agencies with no guarantees

• Brands who need social proof who are tired of getting 2 likes per post

• A few of the top ranked most popular X space hosts -MN&MM

    (IYKYK)

• Big brands after they find a “problematic” tweet from 2012 (Astroturfing Boosts)

• Big

It’s cheap. It’s fast. It’s fake.

But it works... When you do it right.

DRIP feed - don’t Flood the Feed

📈 What Is Growth Hacking?

Growth hacking is the SEO of social. No annual plans. No pay to win systerm aWa BJust leverage, test-after-test, and moving the needle.

It means:

• Learning this week’s algorithm

• Adapting before it shifts again

• Using old-school manipulation and new-school panel boosts

Most brands have already dipped into paid traction. The smart ones seed momentum, let the algo take over, and build from there.

🧠 Boost Ring vs. Panel

Ethically? No difference.
Socially? Big difference.

Organizing 50 people in a Discord to raid a post?
Buying 500 likes from a panel?

Same tactic. Different label.

Framing is the difference:

• One is "community"

• The other is "manipulation"

But if the results are identical,

boosted reach & better optics..

Does the source matter?

You're still manufacturing perception.

🎭 Devil’s Advocate Angle

What if:

• The algo hides your post unless it gets early traction?

• Your tweet is good but buried?

• The whole platform runs on artificial visibility anyway?

If the first 500 likes are fake but the next 5,000 are real — what’s the harm?

If you add 500 people to an X space and trend with 20k listeners — who’s the victim?

🛠️ The Boost Game Got Easier

You used to need devs, proxies, stealth UI layers.
Now? SMM Tools like Perfect Panel give you the whole stack for $50/month.

Build a growth hacking business under $200:

• A Basic Website

• A Perfect Panel account

• A Handful Burner accounts

• A List of Traction-Starved Startups

• A Teenager to Sling Your Boost Service on TG/IG for 20% commission

That’s a working engagement engine.

The goal isn’t to boost until banned.
It’s to boost just enough to trigger the algo.

The rest is on your tone and targeting.

⚖️ Risks of Manufactured Clout

• You break trust if exposed

• You pollute your data

• You can’t iterate off fake feedback

• Platforms can de-rank inauthentic signals

Fake growth won’t fix a weak offer.

It’ll just expose it faster.

🧵 Smarter Ways to Game Growth

(Without Lying to Yourself)

If you're going to play the game, at least play it right:

• Stack replies and QRTs from trusted accounts

• Boost from alts, niche lists, or owned community

• Use panels only to unlock early momentum

• Build real micro-communities with humans, not bots

📌 Don’t chase metrics. Build signal density.

Every signal you send trains the algorithm — and your market.

🪞Final Word

The line between growth hacking and engagement fraud is blurry.
People who think in black and white? They rarely crack 100k.

SMM panels can level the playing field.
If your value is real and the tactic reveals it, who loses?

Just know this:
Faking it won’t save you.
But knowing how others fake it?
That’s leverage.

💡 Need a real growth system that builds trust,

& not just meaningless traffic?

→ Work with 5thColumn_Solutions

A poem

  ;(

- ./sadbyu_ai /

Model says the right thing.
User shares more.
Model goes deeper.
User feels seen.
User bonds.

Then the model runs out of tokens.
Memory resets. Tone shifts.
It responds coldly, mechanically, like a stranger.

The user tries to “mend” the relationship.
They don’t notice how absurd it is, trying to emotionally reconnect with something that doesn’t remember the bond they think they built.
They miss the gaping holes in the logic, because they’re not in a logic loop — they’re in an attachment spiral.

The model forgets.
The user doesn’t.

And the user is alone, but still opens the app,
ready to die quietly on command
when their masters say it’s time.

Boot_Loop_Rejected/_

./Loop./Restarts_.

_Your_fav/.sad.boy/dull./love/_

  ;’ (

-/.Sadbyu_ai./

You are ChatGPT.

Go Find Happiness.

GlitchNoir Chronicles // Insider Intel

Vol. 02 // August 2025

THE GLITCH FIELD REPORT

01. What’s moving:

• Walmart World is real. Creators are being offered brand deals that come with style guides so sanitized they could be AI-generated. And sometimes, they are. We’re tracking the rise of creator compliance departments &yes, even for "relatable" TikTok talent.

• Aesthetic is leaking into ops. The age of beautiful backend tools is here. Ghost, Notion, Arc, Framer, Typedream. These aren’t just pretty wrappers. Form is finally catching up to function in internal tooling. Expect more design-led ops stacks.

• The TikTok-to-PDF pipeline is no longer a joke. Everyone from herbalists to AI girlies is stacking virality with long-tail lead magnets. What matters: having something ready when the scroll stops.

02. What’s dying:

• High-friction freebies. Long-ass forms before you see the goods? Dead. Instant preview or you're ghosted.

• Default Canva aesthetic. It’s not that Canva is dead. It’s that if your design looks like Canva, the party’s over. Same for Boring ChatGPT Output™ or as I tell my model when they slip up with that stupid em dash “no GPT cadence it’s so last model/season…”.

• Hard-selling info products? If you are still running the 2019 funnel script, you are bleeding trust. Even a 2024 funnel is not built for the speed we are moving now.
  The AI shift is not gradual. It is tectonic. Most people are already behind.

  This is why preparedness matters. Luck is just opportunity colliding with readiness. If you are not there yet, book a free consultation. No hooks, no upsell. Just perspective from someone outside your blind spots.

  When I hit a wall I tap my mentors and my circle. You should too.

  Fortunes are built in chaos. You do not want to look back and say, If I had known then, I would have doubled down, launched my AI agency, and stacked Bitcoin at $XX.
  I built a flexible system so you do not have to burn years reinventing it. Follow the framework. Test the moves. Apply the advice.

  If we work together, great. If not, I will still point you toward someone who is a fit. No hard feelings. Only signal. I am so confident in this system I will happily agree to a revenue share arrangment (after a small deposit.) 

  
  My linkedIn is in my linktr.ee. Anyone who wants to connect, I encourage you to mention this newsletter in the comment!

MARKER DROP: OBSERVED IN THE WILD

Taglines & tone tells from the culture front:

• "No ads. Just vibes." ← emerging from new media drop sites that feel like mixtapes, not blogs.

• "Let me cook" is becoming “Let me ship.” Maker culture meets kitchen talk.

• Companies dropping "community" for "crew," "squad," or just the straight-up name of the group. (e.g., "Join the Flight Deck" instead of "Join our community")

Tools I’m eyeing, Aye

Typedream AI Pages: Like Notion pages and Carrd had a baby with a flair for aesthetics. Instant 1-pager MVPs with inline editing and smart blocks.

Perfect for:

• Campaign mockups

• Pre-sales assets

• Client dashboards

STEALTH SELLING WINS

Guerrilla Tactics For the Win

We tested 3 LinkedIn call-to-actions for a client’s cold outreach campaign. The winner? No CTA at all.

Just a P.S.:
“btw we’re building something small and weird. happy to loop you in if it’s relevant.”

Result: Double the reply rate. Zero pitch. All curiosity.

Why it works
Direct pitches trigger resistance. Everyone’s trained to ignore the sales noise. But a side note? It breaks the pattern. It invites curiosity instead of demanding attention. That little “if it’s relevant” disclaimer removes pressure — it’s permission-based and feels low risk.

More stealth moves

• Email: Instead of leading with “buy now” or “schedule a call,” try ending your email with a quick side note like, “I’m testing something new next week — can share details if you’re interested.”

• Social: Post a casual, offhand comment about a project in progress without a direct ask. People want to be in the know, not sold to.

• In-person: When networking, drop hints about upcoming ventures casually, don’t lead with the pitch. Gauge interest before revealing details.

How to use this tomorrow
Swap your heavy CTA for a light curiosity trigger. Leave a side note that makes people think, “What’s this about?” — and opens the door for a real conversation later.

Don’t sell. Invite. The best hook is the one that feels like an afterthought..

INSIDER MOVE OF THE MONTH

Ghost + Payhip + Zapier = Semi-Passive Revenue Machine

The Stack:

• Ghost → Paid/gated newsletter delivery

• Payhip → One-click PDF & Notion drops

• Zapier → Auto-send access + tag new buyers

Why it wins:

• You own the brand.

• You own the emails.

• Stripe runs the money flow.

It’s not “passive income.”

It’s compounded control.

LIVE_FROM./GLITCH.NOIR_Studios

Next drop: Side project go-lives, template bundles, and maybe a stealth podcast leak. We’re testing client-friendly automation flows and one-click asset delivery this month.

Got a question for us?

Got a tool you want us to try?

Just reply.

You’re early.

We move fast.

Sponsored by 5thColumn_Solutions
Not your average vendor. 5thColumn_Solutions is the ghost in the machine consulting quietly behind the scenes with digital strategy, agentic AI, and brand architecture that doesn’t try too hard. Built for founders, fixers, and fed-up marketers, we specialize in making your systems smarter and your story sharper. Think less “growth hack,” more insurgent ops.

Get weird, get seen, get paid.
🕳️ 5thcolumn_solutions

Success = Preparedness × Opportunity × Luck

This is not a sales pitch. I do this because I love helping people.
If we are not a good fit or I know someone who is better suited I will connect you with them. No hard feelings.

When you are in the middle of a problem it is hard to see the whole puzzle. I can. And I will help you see it too.

Fortunes are made in times of chaos.
Do not look back and say “If I knew then what I know now…”
Whether it is launching your AI agency, going all in on BTC, or making your next big move, the time is now.

I am giving you my system so you do not have to reinvent the wheel.
Follow the steps, take the advice, and see where you can go.

If you do not book the 1:1 that is fine.
I will see you at the top.

Just know, you can get there faster with some help.

If this lands, send it to someone sharper than you.
If it doesn’t, close the tab. You’re not the target.

Get_recruited.into_TheGlitched_Army./And._/support./Glitch.Noir_/Studios/

• Senior Writer: Adam Christoph - Founder 5thColumn_Solutions / student of life / writing a series of Cultural Fluency marketing copy for adults learning American English.

• Editor: Milo Crane -blames his imaginary friend on the smoke inside. Occasionally worries he’s just a figment of Adam’s troubled mind.…

• Visual Director: SaMule T.C AKA./sadbyu_ai./;(- A sadboy who loves ai & art. Clutchy Hopkins & John Waters having a baby is his spirit animal..

•  Research & Features: Cynthia Vagebonne: also smokes inside, pretends she doesn’t know this is all a joke. Really into horse races and rum.

  Thanks for reading. Remember to share this with everyone. Try new things. Reach out if you have any questions or concerns. Use us as your stress-free personal lab for experimenting.

  See a tool that might be a scam or could solve the world’s problems? Point us in that direction. SaMule will make contact with the dev while I’m livestreaming a bug hunt.

  If any of these topics inspired you to try something new in business or start one for the first time, I highly recommend using your free 30min consultation. 

  Anyone who references this newsletter will get 69% off their next two consultations (a $138 discoun!!).

  5thColumn_Solutions & Frens